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| Welcome to Golf Is A Funny Game's world famous collection of Religious Golf Jokes. Many golfers would not consider themselves to be religious people, and most probably haven't stepped foot in a church, temple or (insert place of worship here) in years, but that doesn't stop them from calling upon the Almighty for help at various times during a round of golf. Hell, you'd probably sell your soul for a legitimate chance at breaking par. For every golfer who's secretly prayed for a fortuitous bounce around the green, for a putt to find the hole or for the miraculous salvation of a golf ball that was destined for disaster, you're sure to get a kick out of these golf jokes about religion. Be sure to check out the golfer's prayer at the end...Amen. |
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| Religious Golf Jokes | Golf and Religion Humor Jesus and Moses Tee It Up Jesus and Moses are playing golf. On the 5th hole, a shot over water to an island green, Moses hits his 6-iron and it lands perfectly on the green. Jesus takes out his 7-iron and begins tee-ing it up. Moses says: "The 7 isn't enough club. It'll go in the water" Jesus replies: "If Tiger Woods can do it, I can do it." He swings the 7-iron and sure enough, straight into the drink. He tees up a second ball and grabs his 7-iron again. Again Moses reminds him of his previous attempt and Jesus says, "If Tiger Woods can do it, I can do it." "PLOP" in the water it goes again. He continues this until he has hit all his golf balls into the water. At this point, he begins walking out on the water looking down to locate his lost golf balls. The foursome behind them approaches the tee, spots Jesus out on the lake and says to Moses, "Hey, who the hell does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?" Moses replies, "No, Tiger Woods." A Seven Iron and a Prayer A young man is playing golf with a priest. At a short hole the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole son?" The young man says, "An eight iron, father. How about you?" The priest says, "I'm going to his a soft seven and pray." The young man hits his eight iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 7 iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards. The young man says, "I don't know about you father, but in my church when we pray, we keep our head down." Dressed Like a Golfer A golf pro passes away and is standing in line at the pearly gates. Impatient and self serving, he skips line and heads right for St. Peter. Explaining to St. Peter that he is a professional golfer and deserves better than waiting in line like others, he demands to be admitted to heaven. St. Peter replies that there are no favourites in heaven and that he must wait in line as the others. Grudgingly, the pro heads toward the back of the line to wait his turn. Just as he reaches the back of the line, he notices a gentleman, dressed similarly and carrying a putter, approach St. Peter. St. Peter nods and allows the fellow to walk through the gates into heaven. The golf pro, not believing his eyes, storms up to St. Peter demanding an explanation: "I'm a scratch golfer and have been for 20 years, and have been denied immediate entry to heaven, yet you let that weekend hack walk right in." "Oh, that guy," replies St. Peter. "That's God. He only thinks he's a golfer." Holy Shit, I'm Playing With a Priest Fred had tried to be particularly careful about his language as he played golf with his priest. But on the twelfth hole, when he twice failed to hit out of a sand trap, he lost his resolve and let fly with a string of expletives. The preacher felt obliged to respond. "I have observed," said he in a calm voice, "that the best golfers do not use foul language." "Yeah, I guess not," said Fred, "what the hell do they have to swear about?" The Golfer's Prayer (to be said before each round) May my drives be long and always find the fairway...(preferably my own fairway, but an adjacent hole is also acceptable) May my irons strike true, fly majestically and land softly like a butterfly with sore feet... May my ball never sit behind a tree, hang out on the beach or sleep with the fishes... And may all my putts be straight and always uphill... In Tiger Woods' name, I pray...AMEN. Return to the Golf Is A Funny Game Home Page to Check Out the Rest of our Collection of Golf Jokes and Golf Humor... |
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