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| Welcome to Golf Is A Funny Game's world famous collection of Putting Quotes and Wisdom. Whether you're a professional golfer or just a beginner, we've got plenty of putting quotes and wisdom you're sure to appreciate. Sadly, most of us can't putt much better than a blind man. Even the pro's have been driven to near insanity after a putter has abandoned them when they needed it most. If you play enough golf, sooner or later you will develop the deepest of love/hate relationships with your flat-stick [and unless you're blessed with a magical knack for draining 15 footers with regularity (damn you, Tiger Woods), it will be more of a hate/loathe relationship.] So for all the poor golfers who couldn't sink a putt to save their lives, we offer our favorite putting quotes and wisdom to help ease the pain and share the misery. |
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| Putting Quotes | Putting Advice | Putting Wisdom From Some of the Greats "These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow." -Sam Snead Gimme: an agreement between two losers who can't putt. -Jim Bishop "I enjoy the 'oohs' and 'aahs' from the gallery when I hit my drives. But I'm getting pretty tired of the 'aaws' and 'uhhs' when I miss the putt." -John Daly "I'm having putting troubles. It's not the the putter, it's the puttee." -Frank Beard "The way I putted today, I must've been reading the greens in Spanish and putting them in English." -Homero Blancas "Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn't float too well." -Craig Stadler "You're the only guy I know who should yell "Fore!" when he putts." -Some Funny MoFo "It's so bad I could putt off a tabletop and still leave the ball halfway down the leg." -J.C. Snead "The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green." -Ernest Hemingway "That son of a bitch could hole a putt over 60 feet of peanut brittle." -Lloyd Mangrum, about Bobby Locke "I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt." -Chi Chi Rodriguez "Yeah, after each of my downhill putts." -Homero Blancas, asked if he had any uphill putts "Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it." -Your Mom, and if she didn't tell you this, perhaps she should have. Thanks for nothing, Mom. "I've heard people say putting is 50 percent technique and 50 percent mental. I really believe it is 50 percent technique and 90 percent positive thinking, see, but that adds up to 140 percent, which is why nobody is 100 percent sure how to putt." -Chi Chi Rodriguez "The better you putt, the bolder you play." -Don January "Never concede the putt that beats you." -Harry Vardon "All other things being equal, greens break to the west." -Ben Hogan "When you lip out several putts in a row, you should never think that means that you're putting well. When you're putting well, the only question is what part of the hole it's going to fall in, not if it's going in." -Jack Nicklaus "That putt had more breaks than a government job." -Some guy great with metaphors "Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting." -Some other guy "I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par." -Chi Chi Rodriguez Return to the Golf Is A Funny Game Home Page for More Funny Golf Quotes and Hilarious Golf Jokes... |
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