|Welcome to Golf Is A Funny Game's golf education section: Ask The Golf Pro, Volume 2: Par 3 Lay Ups and Proper Golf Attire
We've opened up the reader mailbag once again and selected a few questions from inquisitive golfers to be answered by our favorite golf pro in our latest
installment of 'Ask The Golf Pro: Straight Shooting With Willy T. Shanks.' This is not your grandfather's golf advice column and Willy promises not to pull any
punches or sugarcoat his responses. Rather, he's here to give you honest answers to honest questions about your golf game and the game of life, dropping
knowledge on everything from the rules of the game to golfing attire, from golf course management and strategy to attending a PGA event and anything else
that might be on your collective minds. So sit back, relax...and let your golf education commence.
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|Ask The Golf Pro, Volume 2: Laying Up on a Par 3 and Proper Golf Attire
Q: At one of the local courses I frequently play with my buddies, there's a long par 3 with a big 205 yard carry over water, with a
small bailout fairway running along the left side of the pond. I don't think I've ever cleared the water with my 3 iron and I'm not
very consistent with my 3 or 5 woods...so my question is this: Is it OK to hit driver on this par 3 so I can safely clear the water
hazard? My buddies claim that it's against the laws of golf for a man to hit a driver on a par 3. And so if not, what's the smart
play? To punch a 7 iron down the left side fairway and take my chances from there?
Skip C. Vadgeville, CA
WTS, Golf Pro: Well Skippy, it might appear that your friends are trying to sabotage your ability to score well on this hole, but
they are not. They're merely trying to help you avoid looking like a puss. Just so we're clear, your two questions were:
1.) Is it OK to hit a driver on a par 3?
2.) Is it OK to deliberately lay up on a par 3?
There's a quick test that will help you answer both of these questions...and here it is:
Look in your pants. If there's a weiner in there (regardless of size), the answer to both questions is NO. Always. No exceptions.
If you have to suck it up and splash your 3-iron into the water every time, so be it. At least you'll still have your dignity and the
respect of your fellow golfers.
Don't be a gay! No Bailouts and No Drivers!
Q: I've noticed a lot of the younger golf pros on Tour wearing bright pink shirts, white pants, and neatly color-coordinated outfits.
Is this the new style for golfers or just some passing fad? Is it time for me to update my golf wardrobe?
Sebastien M. Miami, FL
WTS, Golf Pro: Hey Sebastien, thanks for your question. There seems to be a lot of confusion out there about what's
considered appropriate golf attire these days. Let me attempt to clarify...
Here's a couple of examples of what you seem to be talking about:
Poulter: Hot Stuff Villegas: Nice belt / shoe combo Some Asian Guy: Priceless
If you happen to be one of these guys and you're making millions of dollars a year to play golf professionally (hint: you're not),
then you can get away with dressing like a flamboyant metrosexual. If you're just playing some friendly weekend golf with your
buddies and you try to sport one of these numbers, however, you better be prepared for a lot of ridicule and questions as to
your heterosexuality. And if you ever try to pull off a pink catsuit (like the one that Ian Poulter is rocking above,) you better wear
a cup. Because no matter where you are, I will come and find you...and when I do, I'm gonna kick you square in the nuts.
So, in summary, leave the bright pastels, milkman pants and matching outfits to the ladies on the LPGA Tour.
You're a man. At least try to dress like one.
Unfortunately, that's all the time we have for questions today. Feel free to submit your golf questions to
firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll do our best to answer them in our next series.
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